How to Overcome the Fear of Failure in 3 Simple Steps

 

The fear of failure is one of mankind’s worst fears. It makes it impossible to progress. Learn how to overcome the fear of failure in 3 simple steps. But first, you have to understand what the fear of failure really is. You need to understand your enemy before you can defeat them.

What is the Fear of Failure?

fear of failure is when we allow fear to stop us from doing the things that will lead to our success and achieving our goals. It is like when you meet that special someone and you are afraid to ask them out. Fear of rejection is a form of fear of failure because you are afraid that you will fail to say the right thing. Also, more to the main point of this article if you see an ad for a new opportunity at work or maybe it is an online money-making opportunity. You are afraid to fail so you just pass right by.

Let me tell you a story for a minute. One of the biggest things I have had to overcome is the fear of failure. I have spent a good majority of my life holding myself back because I was afraid that I would fail. It came down to the fact that I believed I wasn’t good enough. I would pass up opportunities that could have made me super successful because I was afraid I couldn’t do it. I didn’t believe that I could make it

work.

That brings us to our first step…Believe In Yourself

Probably the hardest step in the process but also the simplest. Think hard about the last time you were afraid to fail. Maybe we should use the first example above. You meet someone you want to ask out. What stops you? Usually, it is the belief that you are somehow not good enough. You know you will fail because that person could not possibly be interested in you. Well, am I close to the mark here or what?

Changing this perception is the key to everything. Let me bring you back to when you were a child of 3 years old. You thought you were invincible. You could do anything. You tried to do everything and there was no fear to stand in your way. I was a ski instructor for 3 years and my favorite lessons were with the young children. It always amazed me how quickly they picked up on things. But what made it better is with a few rare exceptions when they fell they got back up and kept going and they didn’t freeze in fear wondering if they could make it without falling. They believed in themselves. They knew they could do it. They didn’t fear failure.

So why am I comparing you to a 3-year-old? What is the point? The point is this, that fear isn’t something you are born with it is something you learn. Maybe you were told you are a failure and you believed it. Maybe you made a big mistake once and it hurt. Whatever it was it is something that you learned. So it is also something you can unlearn.

Think about who you are today. Think about the things in your life that make you happy. It can be your family, your job, anything that you have been successful at. Now take those things and think about your life as a whole. What made you succeed was it luck that you found the love of your life or was it that you overcame your fear at that moment and asked her/him out. I would say the later. So how can you make that an everyday thing? Well, you need to teach yourself. There are many methods that help from positive affirmations like “I believe in myself” “I know I can succeed” etc. There is also the method I used which is to simply wake up every morning and look at my life. Think about what I am thankful for and remember that I am capable of doing anything just like my mom always told me.

Check out my post How to Change Your Mindset and Change Your Life for Success

That process leads us to Step 2…Change the way you see failure

Henry Ford said, “Failure is just an opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently”. He was a pretty smart guy I mean he did invent the automobile. In order for him to succeed, he failed many times but he always kept going and that is why we remember him today because through those failures he learned and kept trying and then he succeeded in a big way.

The problem is we always see failure as final. You try, You Fail, You Stop. That is the wrong approach.  We need to look at failure as something different. Failure is a stepping stone. Let’s go back to the little children analogy. When you were a baby you couldn’t even crawl. I loved watching my kids learn new things. My daughter would lay on the floor trying to crawl and finally, she did. Then she started standing up so we taught her to walk. She failed many times but finally she succeeded.

Instead of seeing failure as a stopping point think of it as a lesson. When you fail at something it is an opportunity to learn something new that will help you succeed the next time. Failure is what teaches us how to succeed. Also, think about it this way. Whenever you have succeded what led to that success? Did it just happen or were there some failures that you learned from behind that success.

Step 3: Put the Pieces Together and Focus on the Goal

Well we have talked about believing in yourself and changing the way you see failure. Now we need to put those pieces together and focus on our goals. It is hard to overcome our fears, but the act of overcoming them is a victory that will strengthen us to succeed.

Believe in yourself know that you can achieve anything as long as you keep trying. Look at failure like a stepping stone rather than a roadblack and keep trying. These two steps lead us to the final step of Focusing on the goal. You need to always focus on the goal so that you can push through the ‘failures’ and reach your goal.

One of the biggest reasons why fear of failure is so crippling is it takes the focus off the goal. You can’t see a way to get there because all you see is how you can fail. So if you instead focus on the goal, The light at the end of the tunnel, then you will be able to move forward. If you keep that focus and don’t think about the ways you can fail then you won’t fear failure you will overcome it because you know you can reach that goal.

I hope this post has been helpful for you. If it has please comment below and let me know. Also, Share it with your friends.

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6 Comments

  1. Rodarrick

    This is a very concise and powerfully oriented post that can move one to actions. The three steps are right on spot because, unless we see failure as just a stepping stone to achieving Bette things, one may always be under the prowess it has over us. Another thing is the self belief and self confidence that one can always do better irrespective of the situations or circumstances. Wow! This is really massive. Thank you

    • Patrick

      I am glad you found it so powerful Rodarrick. I try so hard to help people it is nice to know I am on the right track. Thank You for your comment.

  2. R.J.

    Hey Patrick, awesome article. I can relate to your article so well. I feel like I’ve failed more than a few times with trying to make money online, but I quickly learned that in order to make money online I had to find my own angle and it took me failing to do it like everyone else before I came to the realization. Good job!

    • Patrick

      R.J. you just hit on one of my next articles coming in the next day or so. Don’t be a carbon copy be the next original. So many programs tell us to copy their success. Well if everyone is doing the same thing the same way then there is a cluster too tight for anyone to make any money. We have to learn from those who are succeeding but enter with our own unique angle and ideas. Then we need the courage to move through and keep trying so we can achieve or own success.

  3. Jay

    The children’s analogy is a perfect analogy to explain failure. Some of us fail because we fear that we would fail. Sometimes it hurts less if you know you are actually going to fail and then you end up failing. The good thing is that if you are wise you would try again and again and the more you try the more you realize that you are picking up the tricks to succeed at what you are trying to accomplish. That is one way to overcome failure. Of course, it is easier said than done but that is one of the ways to over this disease called failure.

    • Patrick

      The old saying ‘If at first you don’t succeed try try again’ is definitely applicable here. When you think of failure as a learning experience it makes it easier to push through and try again.

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